Back-slider phobia is an intense and debilitating fear of coming into face to face contact with someone who slid back out the prison doors of a religious system.
Symptoms include but are not limited to:
- Avoiding areas where the back-slider may show up; If you do come into close contact with a backslider, you may experience unlcear thinking, anxiety, sweating, churning of the stomach, difficulty breathing, and an intense urge to run. Being alone intensifies your symptoms
- Persistant images of the back-slider and an obsession of what you would say and how you would act in the case of an unfortunate encounter
- Secretly scanning their social media sites for evidence of the corruption their new found freedom has caused them
- Unrealistic fears of being poisoned or destroyed by the back slider
- Avoiding any sincere and honest conversation with them unless you feel sure it is only to get them back into the prison
- An addiction to conversations with others about the imagined pitiful condtion of the back slider
- Superstitious beliefs that any misfortune befalling the backslider is God’s punishment for their escape
- Secret and hidden desires to be a brave and genuine, free-flying backslider
- Feeling powerlessness believing that the backslider will overcome you and lead to you to your destruction
- Fear that intimate conversation with a backslider will stir up all those unanswered questions that you put on a back-burner years ago and left there
- Resentment and even hatred towards the backslider due to personal abandonment issues
Things you can do to overcome the Back-slider Phobia
- Exposure: As with any phobia, you need short periods of exposure. Start by just looking at a picture of them. Notice what comes up. Is it sadness, fear, hatred, anger? Acknowledge those feelings and realize that they are about you and not the back-slider. Gradually work up to exposure, perhaps in a gathering with your safe people. Consistent exposure is pertinent. Try and be in their presence for a few minutes, extending it to longer and longer periods of time, until that uncomfortable, stress-filled feeling over their presence begins to dissipate and you can once again see them as just a human being like you.
- Own your fears: Realize that your fears over the backslider are rooted in your own insecurities about the prison house you are stuck in and not about where the person you once loved and “fellowshiped” with is or what they are doing today.
- Give Yourself a Reality Check: Start acknowledging the misfortunes in your own life as part of life and not God’s punishments or tests of your faithfulness.
- Think Positively: Develop a healthier view of a loving God rather than focusing on a wrathful God. Try and see the good in the backslider instead of looking for evidence of bad.
- Get in Touch with Yourself: Explore your own insecurities of abandonment- consider seeing a therapist and definitely do some inner child work.
- Create Healthy Boundaries: Realize that the backslider is exactly where they need to be in their own personal journey and it is not your job to judge them or pray them back to the prison house. They made a choice and so did you.
- Redirect Your Hatred and Resentment: Make a list of all the things you would change about that person to make them acceptable to you. Next, close your eyes and see those things you would change about them in your own self. Remember how we react to others simply mirrors something that we see in ourselves.
- Exercise Emotional Intelligence: Try and see things from the backsliders point of view. Understand that they hurt, cry, feel angry and agitated sometimes, they love, feel passion and want to be happy and feel good just like YOU!
- Take Responsibility for Your Part: Make a list of the reasons you believe the backslider left the prison house. Did you encourage any of those reasons? Did you play a part in pushing them further away?
- Challenge the Reality of Your Fear: Realize that you have these fears for a reason. Where did they come from? Are they legitimate fears? How so? You have been made to believe that backsliders are bad people and that they are dangerous and need to be avoided. Challenge this mentality as it really has nothing to do with the love of God as it does with the agendas of the religious affiliation.
Remember that fear is the lowest vibrational emotion that exists.
Irrational fears keep you from the love of God, but perfect love casts out fear.
God does not want us to fear but to love.
God does not want us to judge but to accept.
God does not want us to control but to set people free!
Posted in Fight Against Cults, Healing, Subtilities, Truth, Visions, Walking With God | Tagged Christian Love, Truth Verses error | Leave a Comment »
An Inward Journey of Discovery and Restoration
In this video I share with you the inspiration behind the writing of “The Voice of God Within.”
If you have struggled with your belief system or have been or are a part of a controlling religion, and you need a little courage, this may just be the book for you.
Click here if you would like to purchase a copy of “The Voice of God Within”
Click here if you would like to read “The Voice of God Within” on Amazon Kindle
Posted in Book Release, Books, Fight Against Cults, Truth, Visions, Walking With God | Tagged Assurance, Soul Burden, true christian, Walking with Jesus | Leave a Comment »
Do you know someone who is in a, or continues to attract co-dependent relationships? Do you suspect you may be codpendent? Back in February, I recorded this 15 minute video on co-dependent relationships- what they are, how to tell the difference between a healthy and a unhealthy relationship and ways to overcome codependency.
Today I recorded a five-minute video on how to raise your vibrations (your mood) quickly. I have several other videos on a variety of topics for, and plans for more in the near future.
My purpose for recording these videos is to share my journey to a healthier mind, body and soul and encourage others in the same way. I have had to spend years healing my emotional body from childhood trauma. My videos offer a fresh personal perspective coming from experience on topics that are too often repackaged jargon of somebodies mental concept of healing.
I would like to invite you to visit my YouTube channel and become a subscriber. If you know of anyone who may be struggling with self-confidence and low self-esteem, please share my video channel with them.
Thanks for taking the time to read this and to listen to my videos!
Your friend, Elizabeth Van Cleve,
Posted in Grief, Healing | Tagged Christian Compassion, Codependence, Encouragement, Healing | Leave a Comment »
Announcing our winners of our drawing for Shane’s CD
Sixtus and Tana
A big THANK YOU to all those who showed their love and support through participation and to others who have purchased a copy of the cd and/or encouraged Shane in his musical journey!
If you would like to listen to samples of this cd just click on this image and it will take you to that webpage:
Both names were selected by Random Name Picker @ http://www.miniwebtool.com/random-name-picker/
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Christian Music, Give Aways | Leave a Comment »
Give-Away! I purchased two of my son Shane’s Debut cd’s ‘My Father’s World’ to give away in a random drawing done on our next full moon which is September 27. If you would like to be entered into the drawing please leave on comment on either my new FB page ‘High Vibes Life‘ or on my website: Hivibeslife.com Good luck to you!
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Jesus taught us that “the Kingdom of God is within YOU!” He taught us to look inside for our answers. He abolished the “law” so men and women would cease to look outward for God and begin to look inward- the place where we are most afraid to look.
I have personally experienced all in the following list. The sad part about these subtle and not-so-subtle contradictions, is they create a dishonest person. Most members see these things, but fear and insecurity cause them to turn a blind eye. They are told their heart is honest because they listen and obey their message, all the while, leveraging the fear of “disobedience and rejection of God,” they create inward conflict and dishonesty to their own conscience.
- An unhealthy religious body will applaud your personal reasoning as long as you are listening to, and agreeing with their message, but they will question your reasoning if you are looking elsewhere.
- When tragedy happens to a member of an unhealthy religious body, it is a gift from God to help them grow. When tragedy happens to someone outside their group, it is a punishment or consequence of sin.
- A “message” is judged good or bad according to whom delivers it rather than on it’s soundness.
- Breaking a church rule is like breaking the fellowship, unless you are a long-stander or high-tither.
- “Right” or “wrong” is nebulous, shifting from pastor to pastor, member to member, and congregation to congregation.
- Answered prayer is from God when among members, but from Satan when among outsiders.
- Their church has been in existence since the time of Christ, but “so-and-so” brought it back to light in more recent years.
- Jesus Christ is the head of the church body, but you need the pastors permission to before making any moves.
- The building is not the church, just a convenient place to gather- but don’t you dare gather together anywhere else- unless its with them of course.
- To destroy someones reputation is like murder- except for the reputations of those who have left.
Don’t be afraid to listen within to what your heart is trying to tell you- even if it is direct opposition to what is being taught to you from without.
My child, pay attention to what I say.
Listen carefully to my words.
Don’t lose sight of them.
Let them penetrate deep into your heart,
for they bring life to those who find them,
and healing to their whole body.
Guard your heart above all else,
for it determines the course of your life.
Avoid all perverse talk;
stay away from corrupt speech.
Posted in Fight Against Cults, Subtilities | Tagged deliverance, Steadfastness, truth versed error, Walking with Jesus | 2 Comments »
I love myth debunking- especially when it comes to “the word of God,” because so many religious organizations hold people in spiritual captivity by misappropriation of the “WORD.”
Fifteen Myths about Bible Translation.
Here is a great site that gives you a comparison chart to the versions of the Bible, including when each version came out:
Translation Comparison Chart
For a deeper look into what the “WORD” really is, see the chapter in my book, “The Voice of God Within” titled: “For the Bible Tells Me So.”
Posted in Fight Against Cults | Tagged Believing, Christainity, Christianity, deliverance, truth versed error | Leave a Comment »