Back-Slider Phobia and How to Overcome it

Back-slider phobia is an intense and debilitating fear of coming into face to face contact with someone who slid back out the prison doors of a religious system.

Symptoms include but are not limited to:

• Avoiding areas where the back-slider may show up; If you do come into close contact with a backslider, you may experience unlcear thinking, anxiety, sweating, churning of the stomach, difficulty breathing, and an intense urge to run. Being alone intensifies your symptoms
• Persistant images of the back-slider and an obsession of what you would say and how you would act in the case of an unfortunate encounter
• Secretly scanning their social media sites for evidence of the corruption their new found freedom has caused them
• Unrealistic fears of being poisoned or destroyed by the back slider
• Avoiding any sincere and honest conversation with them unless you feel sure it is only to get them back into the prison
• An addiction to conversations with others about the imagined pitiful condtion of the back slider
• Superstitious beliefs that any misfortune befalling the backslider is God’s punishment for their escape
• Secret and hidden desires to be a brave and genuine, free-flying backslider
• Feeling powerlessness believing that the backslider will overcome you and lead to you to your destruction
• Fear that intimate conversation with a backslider will stir up all those unanswered questions that you put on a back-burner years ago and left there
• Resentment and even hatred towards the backslider due to personal abandonment issues

Things you can do to overcome the Back-slider Phobia

1. Exposure: As with any phobia, you need short periods of exposure. Start by just looking at a picture of them. Notice what comes up. Is it sadness, fear, hatred, anger? Acknowledge those feelings and realize that they are about you and not the back-slider. Gradually work up to exposure, perhaps in a gathering with your safe people. Consistent exposure is pertinent. Try and be in their presence for a few minutes, extending it to longer and longer periods of time, until that uncomfortable, stress-filled feeling over their presence begins to dissipate and you can once again see them as just a human being like you.
2. Own your fears: Realize that your fears over the backslider are rooted in your own insecurities about the prison house you are stuck in and not about where the person you once loved and “fellowshiped” with is or what they are doing today.
3. Give Yourself a Reality Check: Start acknowledging the misfortunes in your own life as part of life and not God’s punishments or tests of your faithfulness.
4. Think Positively: Develop a healthier view of a loving God rather than focusing on a wrathful God. Try and see the good in the backslider instead of looking for evidence of bad.
5. Get in Touch with Yourself: Explore your own insecurities of abandonment- consider seeing a therapist and definitely do some inner child work.
6. Create Healthy Boundaries: Realize that the backslider is exactly where they need to be in their own personal journey and it is not your job to judge them or pray them back to the prison house. They made a choice and so did you.
7. Redirect Your Hatred and Resentment: Make a list of all the things you would change about that person to make them acceptable to you. Next, close your eyes and see those things you would change about them in your own self. Remember how we react to others simply mirrors something that we see in ourselves.
8. Exercise Emotional Intelligence: Try and see things from the backsliders point of view. Understand that they hurt, cry, feel angry and agitated sometimes, they love, feel passion and want to be happy and feel good just like  YOU!
9. Take Responsibility for Your Part: Make a list of the reasons you believe the backslider left the prison house. Did you encourage any of those reasons? Did you play a part in pushing them further away?
10. Challenge the Reality of Your Fear: Realize that you have these fears for a reason. Where did they come from? Are they legitimate fears? How so? You have been made to believe that backsliders are bad people and that they are dangerous and need to be avoided. Challenge this mentality as it really has nothing to do with the love of God as it does with the agendas of the religious affiliation.

Remember that fear is the lowest vibrational emotion that exists.

Irrational fears keep you from the love of God, but perfect love casts out fear.

God does not want us to fear but to love.

God does not want us to judge but to accept.

God does not want us to control but to set people free!

Read Full Post »

Ten Paradox’s in Unhealthy Religious Bodies

Jesus taught us that “the Kingdom of God is within YOU!” He taught us to look inside for our answers. He abolished the “law” so men and women would cease to look outward for God and begin to look inward- the place where we are most afraid to look.

I have personally experienced all in the following list. The sad part about these subtle and not-so-subtle contradictions, is they create a dishonest person. Most members see these things, but fear and insecurity cause them to turn a blind eye. They are told their heart is honest because they listen and obey their message, all the while, leveraging the fear of “disobedience and rejection of God,” they create inward conflict and dishonesty to their own conscience.

1. An unhealthy religious body will applaud your personal reasoning as long as you are listening to, and agreeing with their message, but they will question your reasoning if you are looking elsewhere.
2. When tragedy happens to a member of an unhealthy religious body, it is a gift from God to help them grow. When tragedy happens to someone outside their group, it is a punishment or consequence of sin.
3. A “message” is judged good or bad according to whom delivers it rather than on it’s soundness.
4. Breaking a church rule is like breaking the fellowship, unless you are a long-stander or high-tither.
5. “Right” or “wrong” is nebulous, shifting from pastor to pastor, member to member, and congregation to congregation.
6. Answered prayer is from God when among members, but from Satan when among outsiders.
7. Their church has been in existence since the time of Christ, but “so-and-so” brought it back to light in more recent years.
8. Jesus Christ is the head of the church body, but you need the pastors permission to before making any moves.
9. The building is not the church, just a convenient place to gather- but don’t you dare gather together anywhere else- unless its with them of course.
10. To destroy someones reputation is like murder-  except for the reputations of those who have left.

Don’t be afraid to listen within to what your heart is trying to tell you- even if it is direct opposition to what is being taught to you from without.

My child, pay attention to what I say.
Listen carefully to my words.
Don’t lose sight of them.
Let them penetrate deep into your heart,
for they bring life to those who find them,
and healing to their whole body.
Guard your heart above all else,
for it determines the course of your life.
Avoid all perverse talk;
stay away from corrupt speech.

~Proverbs 4:20-24

(NLT)

Read Full Post »

The Yearning

The Yearning

The stare that pierced my soul

with brows arched stern

I shrank beneath her eyes

disapproval’s cut and burn

I longed for her smile

One sparkle from those grey-blue peeps

That said, “I love you, I am so proud,

that you are mine for keeps.”

Days ran into years;

Rain turned into tears;

Forgotten yearnings buried deep,

Now spring forth as I watch you sleep

Soft white box cradled your form;

Is that a breath that I see now?

A serene face was not to be;

Scornful death lay on your brow

I longed for her smile;

I searched her face still and pale;

But sternness chiseled out its frown;

Was it concealed behind the veil?

Minutes seem to be a thief;

Eternity holds every grief;

And though I sought but one small trace,

they bore you out with scornful face.

Written by: Elizabeth A. Van Cleve

Read Full Post »

But For a Moment

But For a Moment
(Rip Uncle Steve)

But for a moment
Eyes flutter, the light beams enter
Wind rushes in
Whips us up into its fury

But for a moment
Peals of laughter echo in the corridors
Rainbows burst out
Full of magical illusion

But for a moment
Screams shatter into a vortex of pain
Thunder roars in bad temper
Afflicting for its demented pleasure

But for a moment
Starless nights swallow up beauty
Shadows play carelessly
with terror and loneliness

But for a moment
Throbbing, insatiable yearning
Dawn uncovers her fragrant garden
Soul touches soul, swirling into one

But for a moment
Time ticks by seconds
Daylight hides secret sins
Memory serves our delusions

But for a moment
Eyes flutter, and light beams dim
Soft breezes quietly pass
vanishing into a timeless sea

But for a moment
Despair bows her head
The sun drops from the skies
And teardrops fall into the river of moments

Written by Elizabeth Van Cleve

Read Full Post »

Counting the Cost

It is often preached to sinners that they have a “cost to count” before they get saved. But counting the cost is something that we must continue to do throughout our walk with God and sometimes it can be after years of service that our biggest count happens, when we are faced with the fact that what we have been preaching to others might have not been right. When God begins to open our eyes to more light and we see that we were WRONG in things that for years we thought we knew and understood so clearly, let me tell you something, this is some of the hardest counting a soul will EVER do, because it takes the GREATEST humility.

Just as Saul was arrested on the road to Damascus, he said of himself, “Though I might also have confidence in the flesh. If any other man thinketh that he hath whereof he might trust in the flesh, I more: Circumcised the eighth day, of the stock of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, an Hebrew of the Hebrews; as touching the law, a Pharisee; Concerning zeal, persecuting the church; touching the righteousness which is in the law, blameless. But what things were gain to me, those I counted loss for Christ. Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ,” Phil. 3

He was a very upstanding citizen and believed wholeheartedly in what he was doing that it was an honor to his God. But God arrested him one day and told him he was WRONG!

The early church practiced this humility among themselves. They prayed and fasted and came together to settle questions that they were unsure of, such as the question that arose of whether or not one needed to keep the law of circumcision. There were differing opinions, but the MIND OF CHRIST was of UTMOST importance, and only in humility and subjection to HIS LORDSHIP could this be accomplished.

There is a counting of the cost that must be done in the religious world to day~ even among those who call themselves “The Church of God.” 

Truth has been compromised.

In Revelations 2 Christ spoke to seven congregations and told them to count the cost for these reasons:
1. thou hast left thy first love
2. thou hast there them that hold the doctrine of Balaam, who taught Balac to cast a stumblingblock before the children of Israel, to eat things sacrificed unto idols, and to commit fornication…So hast thou also them that hold the doctrine of the Nicolaitanes, which thing I hate
3. thou sufferest that woman Jezebel, which calleth herself a prophetess, to teach and to seduce my servants to commit fornication, and to eat things sacrificed unto idols
4. I have not found thy works perfect before God
5. thou art neither cold nor hot: I would thou wert cold or hot. So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth. Because thou sayest, I am rich, and increased with goods, and have need of nothing; and knowest not that thou art wretched, and miserable, and poor, and blind, and naked:

Consider these things that Christ warned the people to repent of:
1) Christ was no longer their first love
2) They held false doctrines that caused the children to stumble (sin) eat things sacrificed to idols (Messages that are not from a sacrifice to God but to lift up a man) commit fornication (be unfaithful to God’s spirit and truth) and hold the doctrine the Nicolatitanes: “Nicolaitans,” comes from the Greek, #3528, nikao-nik-ah’-o: to subdue, conquer, overcome, prevail, get the victory and #2992, laos-lah-os’: a people. The term, “Nicolaitans,” literally means, “to conquer the people.” Nicolatitanes is a “religious hierarchy of delegated authority.” ~wickedshepherds.com
3) Again we have Jezebel teaching worship of something other than Spirit and truth
4) Christ said their works are not perfect which tells me their was some dishonesty in their hearts.
5) An indifference to spirit and truth. “What difference does any of this make? I am rich and increased with goods and don’t need anything.” And Christ says they are so blind to their own spiritual depravity.

Christ said the Father seeks those who will worship Him in “Spirit and in truth.” That means, sometimes, truth is going to come to our spirit and we need to be worshiping God enough to be able to forsake the lies we have clung to our entire life and humble enough to say, I was wrong! 

I think it is good to go outside at night and look at the stars and behold the magnitude of God. We really have a TON to learn! No matter who we are or what we know, myself included, I know nothing yet as I ought too, God is so great, and we are so minuscule.

You see, sometimes the cost is the very thing you think is so precious and right- sometimes its the one thing you preached the longest and the hardest against. Like Saul- sometimes that one thing needs to become DUNG!

“let God be true, but every man a liar…” Romans 3:4

Read Full Post »

Just One Proselyte

Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye compass sea and land to make one proselyte, and when he is made, ye make him twofold more the child of hell than yourselves.”

“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You travel over land and sea to win a single convert, and when you have succeeded, you make them twice as much a child of hell as you are.” (NIV)
(Matthew 23:15)

Proselyte:

1. A new convert to a doctrine or religion
2. A person who switches from one belief or religion, to another
3. the name given by the Jews to foreigners who adopted the Jewish religion

Be wary of the one who travels across land and sea to make a proselyte out of you! To turn from sin and believe in the Lord Jesus Christ should be sufficient. A true prophet’s heart is to turn the hearts of the children back to the Father. It is to reconcile souls to God, not to convert them to a religious philosophy or way of living. When a heart has been truly converted back to God, their way of living will naturally change. Sin will no longer have dominion over them. They will have a new spirit.

If one has traveled across land and sea to proselyte you to their own way of thinking and living, be careful that you do not become two fold more a child of hell than they are- a religious, prejudice, hypocrite, ready to sacrifice even your closest loved ones all in the name of your new religion. That’s the mess we have in this world today.

To be saved is to be in Christ, and to be in Christ is to bear His fruit toward all people- love, gentleness, goodness, faith, peace, joy, contentment, …

To be a proselyte is be in religion and to bear the mark of Babylon- hatred, heresies, strife, debate, disharmony, …

Jesus Christ said, “I AM the way, the truth, and the life: no man comes unto the Father, but by me.” (John 14:6)

Men can tell you about God, but only Christ can take you to Him. Trust in him alone. Don’t allow men to proselyte you to them selves and their own personal agendas. Find a secret closet and go, get alone and call out to Christ. He will meet you there. Ask him to show you the Father. Ask him to save you and change you and make you a new person. Ask him to help you be a proper representative of him.

BEWARE OF MEN- who travel across land and sea… claiming to be the mouth piece of God, and asking you to become like them.

Read Full Post »

Potential Proselytes

  Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye compass sea and land to make one proselyte, and when he is made, ye make him twofold more the child of hell than yourselves. Matthew 23:15

How does a religious man know that he has found a potential “proselyte”? He finds someone that is ignorant of his Bible and that won’t question his teachings. He may ask questions, but he wont challenge his teachings. They may call this a “teachable spirit.”  Someone that brings out the Bible and begins to show them things contrary to what they are saying, they will quickly move on and dismiss as a “dishonest” person.

These are ones looking for proselytes, or in modern language- converts. They want to make the person over and box them up in their particular religious house like a trophy piece. Be warned! Christ said these become twofold more the child of hell than those who converted them. I wonder why. . .

Read Full Post »

Becoming a “Member” of Christ

The Bible teaches that God adds the members to his body as it pleases him. (Acts 2:47)  Today’s modern practice of adding and excommunicating members is unbibical and wrong. No man can pluck us out of Christ’s hands. Only our decision to forsake Christ and pursue sin can denote us from this glorious salvation. Some churches will agree, yet still openly request membership of you. Others are still more subtle about it. The will preach fervently against modern day membership practices, yet they still have their personal ways of “adding” and “subtracting” you from the kingdom of God in the eyes of their particular congregation, if you do not submit to their “rules” and ways of living. If you do not honor their king that reigns behind their pulpit, they will denounce you. They will pull your name from off their “phone and address” role. They will warn members to not associate with you. You will not be counted as “saved” among them. And so by their actions, they will attempt to “open and shut” the doors to the kingdom of heaven in your behalf.

Be warned! And don’t be intimidated! Know who you belong to! Know that Christ too, suffered without the gate. Know that he said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” It matters not what men say or do to you. What matters, is your relationship with the LORD JESUS CHRIST! AMEN!!!

Read Full Post »